Altruism
1. Unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others.
2. Behavior by a animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that it benefits others of its species.
Recently, I had the intense, distasteful and financial experience of coming face to face with the very concept of Altruism. Pure intent was in the forefront, I truly wanted to help another that was obviously in poor health, was facing a health issue that does indeed have a treatment available. I had faced this same disease 2 years ago and managed to beat out a virus that is affecting approximately 5 million Americans, most of whom do not even realize they are infected.
What I didn't bargain for was the fact that I had a very distressing experience with a true Narcissist . For as astute as I normally think I am, I sure bought into this situation, hook, line and managed to cut off the sinker before it got worse.
What most do not understand or examine when their "altruistic" nature rears it's ugly head is the fact that when we offer to help someone that is in dire need of something, we refuse to look at our own interests of the matter at hand, ie: how will it make me feel to help this person? Yes, the very basis of any altruistic motive is very selfish in the roots of the behavior. It is very irrational, does not truly serve the motive, but only sets the stage for the altruist's need for praise and admiration.
All of us, as humans, that have one ounce of compassion for another, will experience some type of altruism at some point in their lives and the true, rational compassionate personality will know immediately when they must detach, because when the motive starts backfiring, or to put it in this perspective: The person you are trying to pull out of the water into the boat and they keep pulling you in the water to drown with them. it's time to get a serious clue.
Another lesson involved in all of this was: Leave the past where it belongs. In the past.
I had left a very troubled, challenged youth behind over 34 years ago, have continued to move forward, some setbacks here and there, but never, ever returned to "where it all began" for any real length of time. Mainly because every time I did return physically to that place, I was affected in such an adverse manner, staying away from it all was a priority in my rational self-interest.
Altruism bit me really good, simply because instead of going back to that place of "where it all began", I bring the past right to my present. Maybe I just needed a hard lesson about pulling people into my tiny little boat of a normal, stable life. I knew better, I just didn't listen to my rational conscience. Nope, not me- the crusader and advocate for testing, treatment and supporting others with a disease that is indeed treatable, I almost sacrificed our own livelihood, finances and well-being all in the name of Altruism.
I have to admit, I sought this out, literally went "looking for it" and even though I saw, read and heard all the warning signs, I didn't PAY ATTENTION. Some warnings came too late and I still wanted to think positive- and the lesson in that is:
Never, ever trust your own judgment when doubt is raised, in any form.
My personality is quite cynical in nature, I'm always being told, "You're being negative" and criticized for my less than sunny, bright attitude when it comes to many things. I do not consider myself to be negative- I'm a realist, for crying out loud. Unfortunately, my realistic sense of the world around me miserably failed, due to a moment of altruism.
I must have some strange Karma- I do manage to see through others motives or their facade quite easily- for the better part, I remain unaffected, but when I see something I do not like, I react. Coming unglued is a better definition, because when I'm staring straight at something that I know is threatening everything in my life, the very thing I have left behind, something that has the potential to destroy my world, my well-being or even my family and friends- I literally react in a most adverse manner.
And the fact that I was fooled, even for a very short time (5 LONG days), just pisses me off.
My next post will tell the story and at this point, my lessons were learned- yet, the fat lady isn't singing yet, because as soon as that "event" was removed from my world, another situation came my way and the entire thing has virtually "flipped". But, I'm a bit more wiser for it and yes- sometimes we just have to be human, recognize when there is a true injustice happening to another and lend some support.
So, stay tuned...... my next post will tell the gory details of Altruism, Narcissistic personality disorder and my rattling experience in dealing with an impossible, sick human being.
1. Unselfish regard for or devotion to the welfare of others.
2. Behavior by a animal that is not beneficial to or may be harmful to itself but that it benefits others of its species.
Recently, I had the intense, distasteful and financial experience of coming face to face with the very concept of Altruism. Pure intent was in the forefront, I truly wanted to help another that was obviously in poor health, was facing a health issue that does indeed have a treatment available. I had faced this same disease 2 years ago and managed to beat out a virus that is affecting approximately 5 million Americans, most of whom do not even realize they are infected.
What I didn't bargain for was the fact that I had a very distressing experience with a true Narcissist . For as astute as I normally think I am, I sure bought into this situation, hook, line and managed to cut off the sinker before it got worse.
What most do not understand or examine when their "altruistic" nature rears it's ugly head is the fact that when we offer to help someone that is in dire need of something, we refuse to look at our own interests of the matter at hand, ie: how will it make me feel to help this person? Yes, the very basis of any altruistic motive is very selfish in the roots of the behavior. It is very irrational, does not truly serve the motive, but only sets the stage for the altruist's need for praise and admiration.
All of us, as humans, that have one ounce of compassion for another, will experience some type of altruism at some point in their lives and the true, rational compassionate personality will know immediately when they must detach, because when the motive starts backfiring, or to put it in this perspective: The person you are trying to pull out of the water into the boat and they keep pulling you in the water to drown with them. it's time to get a serious clue.
Another lesson involved in all of this was: Leave the past where it belongs. In the past.
I had left a very troubled, challenged youth behind over 34 years ago, have continued to move forward, some setbacks here and there, but never, ever returned to "where it all began" for any real length of time. Mainly because every time I did return physically to that place, I was affected in such an adverse manner, staying away from it all was a priority in my rational self-interest.
Altruism bit me really good, simply because instead of going back to that place of "where it all began", I bring the past right to my present. Maybe I just needed a hard lesson about pulling people into my tiny little boat of a normal, stable life. I knew better, I just didn't listen to my rational conscience. Nope, not me- the crusader and advocate for testing, treatment and supporting others with a disease that is indeed treatable, I almost sacrificed our own livelihood, finances and well-being all in the name of Altruism.
I have to admit, I sought this out, literally went "looking for it" and even though I saw, read and heard all the warning signs, I didn't PAY ATTENTION. Some warnings came too late and I still wanted to think positive- and the lesson in that is:
Never, ever trust your own judgment when doubt is raised, in any form.
My personality is quite cynical in nature, I'm always being told, "You're being negative" and criticized for my less than sunny, bright attitude when it comes to many things. I do not consider myself to be negative- I'm a realist, for crying out loud. Unfortunately, my realistic sense of the world around me miserably failed, due to a moment of altruism.
I must have some strange Karma- I do manage to see through others motives or their facade quite easily- for the better part, I remain unaffected, but when I see something I do not like, I react. Coming unglued is a better definition, because when I'm staring straight at something that I know is threatening everything in my life, the very thing I have left behind, something that has the potential to destroy my world, my well-being or even my family and friends- I literally react in a most adverse manner.
And the fact that I was fooled, even for a very short time (5 LONG days), just pisses me off.
My next post will tell the story and at this point, my lessons were learned- yet, the fat lady isn't singing yet, because as soon as that "event" was removed from my world, another situation came my way and the entire thing has virtually "flipped". But, I'm a bit more wiser for it and yes- sometimes we just have to be human, recognize when there is a true injustice happening to another and lend some support.
So, stay tuned...... my next post will tell the gory details of Altruism, Narcissistic personality disorder and my rattling experience in dealing with an impossible, sick human being.
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