The release forms from the Best Clinic on the Planet have arrived via email- I have to give these people credit, they know how to get the job DONE. I get them downloaded and printed. I plan on re-scanning them after they are filled out by Danny-boy and emailing them back to the "BCP". Believe me, I spent a year going back and forth to that wonderful institution and the people there just rock! The place works like a well-oiled machine and every single person that I came into contact with treated me like a human and not a number, from the lab techs to the doctors- every experience was all that is right with the world.
Husband picks up Dan first thing, he arrives while I'm getting some things done (the usual checking email, news and other nonsensical activity, before I start preparing the noon meal. He walks in and I give him some time to get his laptop up and going, then ask, "What was your blood sugar this morning?"
"What blood sugar?"
"You didn't take your blood sugar? Did you take your insulin or even eat breakfast?"
"No".
It's apparent, he's definitely a non-compliant diabetic. He's a liability. This one is NOT interested in truly attempting to treat his disease, he doesn't even care about his diabetes or blood sugar levels.
I fix him something to eat, suggest he bring over some insulin to leave here and his extra test kit. I'm not real impressed and I make light that if he's not compliant with his diabetes, he's not showing dedication that he will need to treat for his HCV. He starts acting like a child again. Pouting. I'm coming to the realization that this is a total waste of time.
I hand him the release forms, he ignores them. I start the noon meal, he comes in the kitchen and asks, "What do you have for pain, my legs are really hurting". I give him more ibuprofen. He goes back to my office area, spends more time making calls to God knows who and playing online, this time he turns up the music on his laptop and this is more than I can deal with. His musical tastes are not only weird, but outright obnoxious and it is evident he's doing this to drown out his conversations he's having on my phone, in my home.
I nicely request that he turn down his music, he comments I don't like music. I say nothing, he's trying to start an argument and I want him to fill out the papers. He wants to check our mailbox outside, he's looking to see if his stolen laptop has arrived from Seattle. He's made light of the fact that he informed the Seattle police to ship it here and it is not arriving fast enough. I tell him, "If it arrives, it will come via UPS". He still wants to check the mailbox. I go get the mail, quickly- because I can sense he's wanting to look around for better drugs- when he uses the bathroom, he's spending ungodly amounts of time in it. I'm really starting to get weird about the situation.
In the mail is his application for Medicaid/Food stamps and other assistance that I arranged to be mailed here. I hand him those papers to fill out, which he ignores, just like the releases for his medical records.
Obviously, the game is on. I don't play games well and if I have to, I'm making up the rules and going to win. I start pressuring him to get the paperwork done, that I want it done before dinner is ready (noon). He proceeds to make more calls, I'm listening with one ear as I'm cooking a meal.
He's calling someone telling them, "I went to a hoedown last night", then states, "I even square-danced". Geez, to my recollection, you were in our other house last night, without any transportation, no TV, no phone and left to your own devices. This dude is seriously deluded. Dinner is ready, the men are in to eat and he takes his precious time in joining us at the table to eat the meal. I'm fuming.
He finally completes the releases, but not the application for the state to obtain aid. I tell him, "I'm taking you back to the other house for the afternoon, I have things to do here". He's finally eaten and gotten one thing accomplished that needs to be done, in order for him to things rolling. I'm at the point, this ball isn't rolling anywhere.
I leave him at the other house, coming back and immediately calling his cousin to catch her up with the latest behaviors I'm seeing out of him and the fact he's asked me twice for pain medications. Yepper- all the suspicions have been confirmed, if anything- he's detoxing in a semi-controlled environment, but I'm starting to get worried about his level of desperation. We both agree, this isn't going to work and agree to keep in close touch.
I'm to the point, I'm so embarrassed over this deal, I don't want to admit to anyone that I've made a huge blunder and the very idea of even taking him into my community, meeting my friends is simply OUT OF THE QUESTION.
That afternoon, some friends arrive for a short visit that live out of state, here to see family and deal with their own issues at hand (all of us are coping with aging parents and I'm throwing a virtual baboon into our own mix of normal stresses on this farm?). We visit (of course, I visit with the wife, her husband goes off with my husband to fix something on the farm). We analyze, we over-analyze, I'm trying to maintain a sense of rationality, yet reacting to Dan and his behavior in a most adverse manner that I simply cannot hide my distress. I'm ashamed of what I've brought here, into my environment, my home and feel I'm putting my family at risk.
I'm beating the hell out of myself when I should be beating the hell out of Dan, figuratively and literally speaking.
people go away mad or sad after close contact with narcissists.
I'm reacting, there is no doubt- I'm angry, disgusted and bewildered with this dude and his childish behaviors and things are about to get worse.
I have to accept I've set the stage, simply because I allowed this situation to occur, enabling it to some degree, yet not playing into the whims of someone that obviously has some real mental health issues, aside from being physically sick and let things play out. I am aware that I'm dealing with a person who is not going to respond in a normal fashion, the very idea of trying to control in any sense is not going to work and I'm really not into controlling people anyway. Criminy, controlling my own reactions is taxing enough.
Our company leaves, I piddle around for a while, emailing a few people admitting of what a horrible mistake I've made and also talking to my husband about how things are going "south", quickly. Tomorrow morning, we had planned to go to a community breakfast, when we pick up the men who work here and will be nice, take Dan along with us (I'm gagging over this thought, too). We already informed him of this activity, so there's no way I can get out of it now. Dammity. I also haven't had the realization dawn on me that I have a full-blown Narcissist on my hands.
My husband and I had found a mother and older kittens, starving to death, not far up the road from our home- our thinking is, "take the cat & kittens to our barn over there, let him take care of them (food and water, of course- WE provide the food) and give him a simple task to accomplish every day). I purchase a bag of cat food for the cats, tell him in very simple terms, "Make sure every morning that they have fresh water and food in the bowl."
Every single morning and evening, both husband and I are realizing that Dan is incapable of this simple task. Add in the fact he virtually misses the mark in accomplishing a very simple task, such as this:
(this photograph was re-created to provide example of what we found)
Note the water bowl on the left, yes- that was for fresh water. The other "object" is a crepe pan, turned upside down, the center, filled with water. Which is EXACTLY what I found the second day the cats had been relocated to the barn.
The water bowl on the left was empty, the crepe pan had water in it- and there was 7 cats to water. Now, what's wrong with this concept?????
Later that evening, I go back over to the house, Dan has ALL the windows wide open, the screen door propped open, with a shovel, AGAIN..... and we had heavy rains. I walk in and he's got the applications for Medicaid and supplemental income on the table and he says:
"I want to pay rent, I don't feel like much of a man if I can't pay rent". (I'm thinking, "man? criminy, this is like dealing with a out of control 5 year old")
"We are not charging you rent, that wasn't part of this deal"
"I want a year's lease on this house, I don't feel secure without a lease"
"I don't think so, we are not giving you a lease, it's not an option"
Now, he wants to argue. He continues, "Well, how can I feel secure and that I won't be kicked out?"
I look at him right in the eye and state, "This is simple, Dan- you were brought up here with one goal and one purpose and it comes down to something very simple, Do you want to live or die?"
He is speechless.
I continue, "You are concerning yourself with things that are not that important, yet you are showing us that you are not even interested in maintaining your diabetes, so with that fact being blatantly obvious, it is apparent you won't be compliant when you are put on treatment for your HepC"
(He's squirming now). "You need to get past that, just because I didn't take my insulin and blood sugar and you are harping on it"
"That behavior shows me you aren't serious about your health AND if you think that the doctors at the Best Clinic on the Planet are not going to figure this out immediately, you are mistaken and I'm getting sick of arguing with you"
"I've argued with the best, this is why I never got married"
"Enough, Dan- I'm not your marital partner, I'm not your mother and your argument is getting tedious"
He changes the subject.
"There is something wrong with the floor in here, it's covered in water" (Remember, he's had the doors and windows WIDE open in humid, hot conditions and this house is a berm home, on a cement slab for a floor).
"It's condensation, I have told you previously to keep the doors and windows closed and turn on the air conditioning"
"I was going to ask you if I should turn on the air conditioning and I slipped and fell on my back!"
I turn on the A/C and he's whining about "don't make it too cold, I can't stand the cold". It's in the low 90s outside and he's worried about freezing to death........ and I'm thinking: "lawsuit/personal injury".
The next day, the weird definitely went "pro".
Husband picks up Dan first thing, he arrives while I'm getting some things done (the usual checking email, news and other nonsensical activity, before I start preparing the noon meal. He walks in and I give him some time to get his laptop up and going, then ask, "What was your blood sugar this morning?"
"What blood sugar?"
"You didn't take your blood sugar? Did you take your insulin or even eat breakfast?"
"No".
It's apparent, he's definitely a non-compliant diabetic. He's a liability. This one is NOT interested in truly attempting to treat his disease, he doesn't even care about his diabetes or blood sugar levels.
I fix him something to eat, suggest he bring over some insulin to leave here and his extra test kit. I'm not real impressed and I make light that if he's not compliant with his diabetes, he's not showing dedication that he will need to treat for his HCV. He starts acting like a child again. Pouting. I'm coming to the realization that this is a total waste of time.
I hand him the release forms, he ignores them. I start the noon meal, he comes in the kitchen and asks, "What do you have for pain, my legs are really hurting". I give him more ibuprofen. He goes back to my office area, spends more time making calls to God knows who and playing online, this time he turns up the music on his laptop and this is more than I can deal with. His musical tastes are not only weird, but outright obnoxious and it is evident he's doing this to drown out his conversations he's having on my phone, in my home.
I nicely request that he turn down his music, he comments I don't like music. I say nothing, he's trying to start an argument and I want him to fill out the papers. He wants to check our mailbox outside, he's looking to see if his stolen laptop has arrived from Seattle. He's made light of the fact that he informed the Seattle police to ship it here and it is not arriving fast enough. I tell him, "If it arrives, it will come via UPS". He still wants to check the mailbox. I go get the mail, quickly- because I can sense he's wanting to look around for better drugs- when he uses the bathroom, he's spending ungodly amounts of time in it. I'm really starting to get weird about the situation.
In the mail is his application for Medicaid/Food stamps and other assistance that I arranged to be mailed here. I hand him those papers to fill out, which he ignores, just like the releases for his medical records.
Obviously, the game is on. I don't play games well and if I have to, I'm making up the rules and going to win. I start pressuring him to get the paperwork done, that I want it done before dinner is ready (noon). He proceeds to make more calls, I'm listening with one ear as I'm cooking a meal.
He's calling someone telling them, "I went to a hoedown last night", then states, "I even square-danced". Geez, to my recollection, you were in our other house last night, without any transportation, no TV, no phone and left to your own devices. This dude is seriously deluded. Dinner is ready, the men are in to eat and he takes his precious time in joining us at the table to eat the meal. I'm fuming.
He finally completes the releases, but not the application for the state to obtain aid. I tell him, "I'm taking you back to the other house for the afternoon, I have things to do here". He's finally eaten and gotten one thing accomplished that needs to be done, in order for him to things rolling. I'm at the point, this ball isn't rolling anywhere.
I leave him at the other house, coming back and immediately calling his cousin to catch her up with the latest behaviors I'm seeing out of him and the fact he's asked me twice for pain medications. Yepper- all the suspicions have been confirmed, if anything- he's detoxing in a semi-controlled environment, but I'm starting to get worried about his level of desperation. We both agree, this isn't going to work and agree to keep in close touch.
I'm to the point, I'm so embarrassed over this deal, I don't want to admit to anyone that I've made a huge blunder and the very idea of even taking him into my community, meeting my friends is simply OUT OF THE QUESTION.
That afternoon, some friends arrive for a short visit that live out of state, here to see family and deal with their own issues at hand (all of us are coping with aging parents and I'm throwing a virtual baboon into our own mix of normal stresses on this farm?). We visit (of course, I visit with the wife, her husband goes off with my husband to fix something on the farm). We analyze, we over-analyze, I'm trying to maintain a sense of rationality, yet reacting to Dan and his behavior in a most adverse manner that I simply cannot hide my distress. I'm ashamed of what I've brought here, into my environment, my home and feel I'm putting my family at risk.
I'm beating the hell out of myself when I should be beating the hell out of Dan, figuratively and literally speaking.
people go away mad or sad after close contact with narcissists.
I'm reacting, there is no doubt- I'm angry, disgusted and bewildered with this dude and his childish behaviors and things are about to get worse.
I have to accept I've set the stage, simply because I allowed this situation to occur, enabling it to some degree, yet not playing into the whims of someone that obviously has some real mental health issues, aside from being physically sick and let things play out. I am aware that I'm dealing with a person who is not going to respond in a normal fashion, the very idea of trying to control in any sense is not going to work and I'm really not into controlling people anyway. Criminy, controlling my own reactions is taxing enough.
Our company leaves, I piddle around for a while, emailing a few people admitting of what a horrible mistake I've made and also talking to my husband about how things are going "south", quickly. Tomorrow morning, we had planned to go to a community breakfast, when we pick up the men who work here and will be nice, take Dan along with us (I'm gagging over this thought, too). We already informed him of this activity, so there's no way I can get out of it now. Dammity. I also haven't had the realization dawn on me that I have a full-blown Narcissist on my hands.
My husband and I had found a mother and older kittens, starving to death, not far up the road from our home- our thinking is, "take the cat & kittens to our barn over there, let him take care of them (food and water, of course- WE provide the food) and give him a simple task to accomplish every day). I purchase a bag of cat food for the cats, tell him in very simple terms, "Make sure every morning that they have fresh water and food in the bowl."
Every single morning and evening, both husband and I are realizing that Dan is incapable of this simple task. Add in the fact he virtually misses the mark in accomplishing a very simple task, such as this:
(this photograph was re-created to provide example of what we found)Note the water bowl on the left, yes- that was for fresh water. The other "object" is a crepe pan, turned upside down, the center, filled with water. Which is EXACTLY what I found the second day the cats had been relocated to the barn.
The water bowl on the left was empty, the crepe pan had water in it- and there was 7 cats to water. Now, what's wrong with this concept?????
Later that evening, I go back over to the house, Dan has ALL the windows wide open, the screen door propped open, with a shovel, AGAIN..... and we had heavy rains. I walk in and he's got the applications for Medicaid and supplemental income on the table and he says:
"I want to pay rent, I don't feel like much of a man if I can't pay rent". (I'm thinking, "man? criminy, this is like dealing with a out of control 5 year old")
"We are not charging you rent, that wasn't part of this deal"
"I want a year's lease on this house, I don't feel secure without a lease"
"I don't think so, we are not giving you a lease, it's not an option"
Now, he wants to argue. He continues, "Well, how can I feel secure and that I won't be kicked out?"
I look at him right in the eye and state, "This is simple, Dan- you were brought up here with one goal and one purpose and it comes down to something very simple, Do you want to live or die?"
He is speechless.
I continue, "You are concerning yourself with things that are not that important, yet you are showing us that you are not even interested in maintaining your diabetes, so with that fact being blatantly obvious, it is apparent you won't be compliant when you are put on treatment for your HepC"
(He's squirming now). "You need to get past that, just because I didn't take my insulin and blood sugar and you are harping on it"
"That behavior shows me you aren't serious about your health AND if you think that the doctors at the Best Clinic on the Planet are not going to figure this out immediately, you are mistaken and I'm getting sick of arguing with you"
"I've argued with the best, this is why I never got married"
"Enough, Dan- I'm not your marital partner, I'm not your mother and your argument is getting tedious"
He changes the subject.
"There is something wrong with the floor in here, it's covered in water" (Remember, he's had the doors and windows WIDE open in humid, hot conditions and this house is a berm home, on a cement slab for a floor).
"It's condensation, I have told you previously to keep the doors and windows closed and turn on the air conditioning"
"I was going to ask you if I should turn on the air conditioning and I slipped and fell on my back!"
I turn on the A/C and he's whining about "don't make it too cold, I can't stand the cold". It's in the low 90s outside and he's worried about freezing to death........ and I'm thinking: "lawsuit/personal injury".
The next day, the weird definitely went "pro".
0 comments:
Post a Comment