Here we go again..........

RAGBRAI (Great Bicycle Ride Across Iowa) is coming back to SE Iowa and the best news is they'll be further north of our area than the last time they biked through here.

I don't have any problem with people who like to ride bicycles, what I do have a problem with is their lack of phucking manners when it comes to their stupid mindset that they own the highways and business as usual is taking place where their planned route is occurring every stinking year, but the natives who live here can't get around the jerks and get on with our lives, fcol. I also have a problem with assholes that have no respect for our roadsides and fields, taking liberty to urinate, defecate (no kidding, they will shit in your cornfield) and absolutely refuse to move over when the local residents have to navigate OUR roads to conduct our daily business. Every year when this event occurs, I think "Death Race 2000" and start thinking about "points". LOL

These people have less respect than leather-clad bikers on Harleys. I'm not kidding. It's like they have this overblown sense of entitlement when they bike from town to town and the only real reason any community on the route puts up with these idiots is probably due to the revenue they generate, which if anyone really did do some serious accounting, cleaning up after them is more of a headache than what they feed into the local economy. And most of them are just sheer, unadulterated jerks. Come up on them on the highway and they don't even have the courtesy to move over to the side of the road, allowing local traffic to get past them.

Last time they went through our area, I made the conscious decision that if the trip was ever routed through here again, I would personally make it a point to clean out the feedlots, cruise down the highway with the manure spreader and oopsie........ hit the wrong lever. Think liquid green shit, smeared all over the blacktop. Riding a bicycle through a cowshit covered blacktop would be such a deserved "gift", considering they don't mind trashing our roadsides and crops with their waste.

On a national note, I'm still laughing my ass off over the recently ousted EX- Gov of Illinois. Watching this debacle during the last few weeks has been some seriously good entertainment. I'd really be curious to know what drugs he's getting his hands on, given the attitude he's been displaying over some fairly serious charges. Either he's inherently STOOPID or he's totally psychotic. Or both. Arrogance is always a clear indicator of stupidity and he has been proving my point all along.

Bye, bye Rod and don't let the door smack you in the ass. I'm sure you won't be missed and now you can go visit Dubya in Texas. The two of you ranting your deluded bullshit with each other would make for a really good sitcom. We'd all just have to either drink ourselves into oblivion or smoke some excellent hybrid bud to actually understand what the hell the two of you would be babbling about.

Charleston, I miss you so............

Last week, we finally left the farm and headed south, all the way to the Battery in Charleston, SC. I have to wonder, why do they call it a "battery"? Does it have something to do with that area taking a hell of a battering during both the Revolutionary and Civil Wars? That's gotta be it.

Before we started our less than well-planned road trip, we made a detour to Lake County, IL, to visit a few friends and drop some late Christmas gifts off and picking up a few ourselves..... which leads me to reflecting upon what a sick pup I must really be, considering some of my long time friendships and the gifts they pick for my spouse. You know, the "birds of a feather" thing.

One word: Flarp

This has to be the best stress reliever ever invented and if you are under the age of 3, you can't have any.  It's a crying shame that one probably could not get this product on a flight, only because it would sure make a boring flight a ton of fun. It would certainly guarantee you the entire 3 seats across for yourself, if not half the plane. Next time you visit Walgreen's, purchase all they have and you've got next year's stocking stuffers covered! This is definitely a toy for big boys, ages 47-61.

You get the general idea, right?
(take note, the dude who started this fun is NOT depicted with these other 2 boys)

So, from the State of Illinois, where I managed to blow at least 2 tolls (yeah, I gotta go pay those online, fcol) all the way to South Carolina, every so often, I'm listening to faux flatulence. I will admit, I have my own jar of the stuff, I'll definitely report any commotion I can cause next time I'm standing in line at the local supermarket on a Friday night. The true challenge will be keeping a straight face.

We also have the strangest karma of any two people on this planet- we left in snow and bitter cold weather, the crap followed us all the way to Charleston and when I commented that we "brought it with us", some were actually IMPRESSED with it and one looked at me like I was a freakin' alien, asking me to "take it back with you", which ironically...... we did. I did not want to leave Charleston, it was warm there. They have beaches, we are land locked morons and the closest thing we get as far as huge bodies of water is when we have biblical floods. Okay, they get hurricanes- we can deal with that. We get tornadoes, less warning and hey- tornadoes are unpredicable. They whip around the area when they touch down and no one knows where it's going to hit. At least hurricanes blow in one direction and if you just have your head buried in the sand, you don't deserve to evacuate when you're told "this one is a category 4".

They have harbors, ships, really cool old houses with southern charm, excellent food (eat in the "hole in the wall" restaurants), best seafood chowder I've EVER tasted and they know how to cook with pecans. No, the pecans were not in the chowder, but trust me, pecans incorporated into chicken, balsamic vinegar, fresh spinach and cranberries all wrapped up is something to die for. Or kill the cook for the recipe. Needless to say, the cook is still alive and I didn't get the recipe.

Summertime in Charleston is not an option, we deal with heat indexes over 100° and extreme humidity, minus palmetto bugs (seasonal cockroaches in droves......), but spending the months of December to March in Charleston is looking pretty damn good, only because it is now 24° here and hey, we might make it to just about freezing tomorrow. I just have to figure out how to end up in one of those really cool homes built in the 1700's, complete with gas lights, chimney(s) and some bitchin' wrought iron all around my entryway and garden.

Like this

I guess I'll have to photograph some of the goodies I brought back with me (later, I have crap to get done). And next trip? Screw that driving down the interstate with a million semi's, chain restaurants that serve heart attacks on a crappy plate, shitty coffee and motel rooms that at even at $100.00 are still crappy motel rooms. I'm flying, blowing that cash on more nights in an old hotel with a concierge in the historical district and spend a couple of nights with my shutter wide open here

With all these dead people.

4 More Days

And the chimp is out of the White House. According to CNN, 17-25% of Americans are incredibly STOOPID, because that particular percentile range of citizens still believe that Dubya has managed our gov't effectively and also believe he united us as a country. Either these people drink beer for breakfast or simply need some chlorine in their gene pools.

As for the 60% of us that believe that declaring war in Iraq was a mistake, 40% agree that monkey-butt leaves a less than desirable legacy, there is a definite 28% that know he's the worst POTUS in history. Count me in that percentile.

George W. Bush is by far the worst President to ever deliver ANY speech, butchering not only the English language, but consistently managed to puke out sentences that sent a resounding, repetitive message:

I'm really, really stupid, I didn't pay attention in class and I have no clue what I'm talking about.

We all know that every POTUS have speech writers to assist in their public verbal displays of leadership, or "State of the Union" telecasts and this moron either ignored the material he was given to follow or simply cannot read for comprehension.

Who can forget the ridiculous comments over the last 8 years, such as:

• "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs
  aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."

• "Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" (Obviously, you didn't learn a thing, attending one of the best learning academies in the country couldn't nurture what little intelligence you were born with)

• "I hear there's rumors on the Internets that we're going to have a draft." (Last time I looked, there is only one internet)

And this one really stands out as the most telling of his true motive at hand:

• "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never
  stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and
  neither do we. Think Homeland Security.........Big Brother is right up your ass performing a continuous colonoscopy all in the name of our nation's uh, security.

Nothing is going to magically change in 4 days, the powers that be will still continue to create chaos in order to maintain their positions, the new POTUS is not our Savior, which will prove to be a very rude awakening to so many people that still cling to the belief that one man can save us all, change the state of the so-called American Dream that has been chipped away at and destroyed insidiousy for the last 40 years by greedy, ambitious politicians and lobbyists- all wanting more and more for themselves all while widening the great divide between the haves and have nots.

The quicker the Roman Empire falls, the faster we can rebuild and open our eyes to what the core of the destruction has been and hopefully change our thinking in just who we really want working for us, because we're so stupid as whole, we've been working all along for the government all while assuming that government would take care of us.

It's time we started taking care of ourselves, take that stand and quit behaving like a society of lemmings.

It is high time that government worked for the people and change the status quo. See ya, Dumbya- I am one citizen that will NOT miss you in the least, nor ever believe any shit that spewed forth from your mouth. You ARE the worst POTUS I've ever had to endure and I'm jumping for joy that I will never have to watch you or listen to your incessant stupidity again.

The Boss has sold his soul

According to a news release yesterday, Bruce Springsteen is releasing a "Greatest Hits" CD, to be distributed by Walmart, exclusively. I have a sudden urge to hurl chunks.

Walmart, an entity that has not only killed just about every small community in the nation, but has been a huge influence on the outsourcing of manufacturing, adding to the shut down of every small factory and American-made products and "The Boss", the so-called troubadour of the "working class" crosses over to the dark side.

So, what was it, Bruce? The money? It couldn't be the fame or public adulation you've been graced with. Or, is it the fame and adulation that has sent you into the arms of an entity that is infamous for low paying jobs, no real benefits (Sam Walton HAS to be turning over in his grave), forcing well established companies that did have their roots in manufacturing firmly planted in the United States to cheapen their product(s) and use foreign materials to reduce quality, making the product more affordable for wholesale purchasing?

Walmart, the eptiome of greed and consumerism and you sold out. Two words, Bruce: Up Yours

Whine, whine, sniff, sniff and slobber slobber

If there isn't anything I just cannot tolerate anymore, it's a whiny, sniveling idiot that joins something, agreeing to "the rules" and then wants to do nothing but bitch and moan about it. And when they aren't getting the attention or special consideration that they think they are entitled to, they announce they are "leaving".

If I don't like how something is being run, I don't feel the need to make "announcements" that I'm picking up my toys and leaving in a huff. I simply walk away and move on. I also don't make it a point to go to another group/forum and carry on like a 3 year old for more commiseration and sympathy. My only conclusion at this point is yes, there are an awful lot of humans out there that are lonely, attention-seeking individuals that are afflicted with a severe case of stunted emotional growth. Cutting their internet connection would really a excellent way to not only help them to get out and deal with the real world, but also remove from them a source of communication that is definitely unhealthy for their personal growth they are so uh, lacking.

Healthy, functional humans need structure and guidelines to follow and that is where society has miserably failed, starting in the home. So many people never had structure or boundaries as children and not only have we taken dysfunctional behavior out of our homes, but we are projecting it in the workplace and via "social networking" on the internet, no matter what the context- forums, message boards, personal space accounts, etc. The age of internet technology has created a place for all of those that would never act so inappropriately if they couldn't hide behind their monitors, yet they never fail to show their "true" personalities because of that false anonymity they think they are hiding behind.

Yes, the social networking the internet has provided has become the world's biggest freak show. It's highly entertaining, yet incredibly time consuming only because when one tries to provide something "productive", all the freaks show up to negate the show.

But, as usual, birds of a feather is a cliche that stands true- functional, well-adjusted people do like structure, rules and others moderating the show- keeping the social ideals tidy and free of negativity and troublemakers. IOW, anyone that has a brain doesn't want the furniture being urinated on, nor carpet being soiled by excrement. And that I still have faith in. We still have people with intelligence and a sense of order.

Blessing of the day:

I had my last visit with my neurosurgeon and my neck is screwed together correctly, my head is on straight:

So, did ya find me?

I bet you did......