Last week, we finally left the farm and headed south, all the way to the Battery in Charleston, SC. I have to wonder, why do they call it a "battery"? Does it have something to do with that area taking a hell of a battering during both the Revolutionary and Civil Wars? That's gotta be it.
Before we started our less than well-planned road trip, we made a detour to Lake County, IL, to visit a few friends and drop some late Christmas gifts off and picking up a few ourselves..... which leads me to reflecting upon what a sick pup I must really be, considering some of my long time friendships and the gifts they pick for my spouse. You know, the "birds of a feather" thing.
One word: Flarp
This has to be the best stress reliever ever invented and if you are under the age of 3, you can't have any. It's a crying shame that one probably could not get this product on a flight, only because it would sure make a boring flight a ton of fun. It would certainly guarantee you the entire 3 seats across for yourself, if not half the plane. Next time you visit Walgreen's, purchase all they have and you've got next year's stocking stuffers covered! This is definitely a toy for big boys, ages 47-61.
With all these dead people.
Before we started our less than well-planned road trip, we made a detour to Lake County, IL, to visit a few friends and drop some late Christmas gifts off and picking up a few ourselves..... which leads me to reflecting upon what a sick pup I must really be, considering some of my long time friendships and the gifts they pick for my spouse. You know, the "birds of a feather" thing.
One word: Flarp
This has to be the best stress reliever ever invented and if you are under the age of 3, you can't have any. It's a crying shame that one probably could not get this product on a flight, only because it would sure make a boring flight a ton of fun. It would certainly guarantee you the entire 3 seats across for yourself, if not half the plane. Next time you visit Walgreen's, purchase all they have and you've got next year's stocking stuffers covered! This is definitely a toy for big boys, ages 47-61.
You get the general idea, right?
(take note, the dude who started this fun is NOT depicted with these other 2 boys)
(take note, the dude who started this fun is NOT depicted with these other 2 boys)
So, from the State of Illinois, where I managed to blow at least 2 tolls (yeah, I gotta go pay those online, fcol) all the way to South Carolina, every so often, I'm listening to faux flatulence. I will admit, I have my own jar of the stuff, I'll definitely report any commotion I can cause next time I'm standing in line at the local supermarket on a Friday night. The true challenge will be keeping a straight face.
We also have the strangest karma of any two people on this planet- we left in snow and bitter cold weather, the crap followed us all the way to Charleston and when I commented that we "brought it with us", some were actually IMPRESSED with it and one looked at me like I was a freakin' alien, asking me to "take it back with you", which ironically...... we did. I did not want to leave Charleston, it was warm there. They have beaches, we are land locked morons and the closest thing we get as far as huge bodies of water is when we have biblical floods. Okay, they get hurricanes- we can deal with that. We get tornadoes, less warning and hey- tornadoes are unpredicable. They whip around the area when they touch down and no one knows where it's going to hit. At least hurricanes blow in one direction and if you just have your head buried in the sand, you don't deserve to evacuate when you're told "this one is a category 4".
They have harbors, ships, really cool old houses with southern charm, excellent food (eat in the "hole in the wall" restaurants), best seafood chowder I've EVER tasted and they know how to cook with pecans. No, the pecans were not in the chowder, but trust me, pecans incorporated into chicken, balsamic vinegar, fresh spinach and cranberries all wrapped up is something to die for. Or kill the cook for the recipe. Needless to say, the cook is still alive and I didn't get the recipe.
Summertime in Charleston is not an option, we deal with heat indexes over 100° and extreme humidity, minus palmetto bugs (seasonal cockroaches in droves......), but spending the months of December to March in Charleston is looking pretty damn good, only because it is now 24° here and hey, we might make it to just about freezing tomorrow. I just have to figure out how to end up in one of those really cool homes built in the 1700's, complete with gas lights, chimney(s) and some bitchin' wrought iron all around my entryway and garden.
We also have the strangest karma of any two people on this planet- we left in snow and bitter cold weather, the crap followed us all the way to Charleston and when I commented that we "brought it with us", some were actually IMPRESSED with it and one looked at me like I was a freakin' alien, asking me to "take it back with you", which ironically...... we did. I did not want to leave Charleston, it was warm there. They have beaches, we are land locked morons and the closest thing we get as far as huge bodies of water is when we have biblical floods. Okay, they get hurricanes- we can deal with that. We get tornadoes, less warning and hey- tornadoes are unpredicable. They whip around the area when they touch down and no one knows where it's going to hit. At least hurricanes blow in one direction and if you just have your head buried in the sand, you don't deserve to evacuate when you're told "this one is a category 4".
They have harbors, ships, really cool old houses with southern charm, excellent food (eat in the "hole in the wall" restaurants), best seafood chowder I've EVER tasted and they know how to cook with pecans. No, the pecans were not in the chowder, but trust me, pecans incorporated into chicken, balsamic vinegar, fresh spinach and cranberries all wrapped up is something to die for. Or kill the cook for the recipe. Needless to say, the cook is still alive and I didn't get the recipe.
Summertime in Charleston is not an option, we deal with heat indexes over 100° and extreme humidity, minus palmetto bugs (seasonal cockroaches in droves......), but spending the months of December to March in Charleston is looking pretty damn good, only because it is now 24° here and hey, we might make it to just about freezing tomorrow. I just have to figure out how to end up in one of those really cool homes built in the 1700's, complete with gas lights, chimney(s) and some bitchin' wrought iron all around my entryway and garden.
Like this
I guess I'll have to photograph some of the goodies I brought back with me (later, I have crap to get done). And next trip? Screw that driving down the interstate with a million semi's, chain restaurants that serve heart attacks on a crappy plate, shitty coffee and motel rooms that at even at $100.00 are still crappy motel rooms. I'm flying, blowing that cash on more nights in an old hotel with a concierge in the historical district and spend a couple of nights with my shutter wide open here
With all these dead people.
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